Discrimination:

Discrimination, you know it when you feel it. Sometimes you just know it is there even when those around you fail to notice. It is in the way someone looks at you, the way they say your name, and the way they exclude you form a process or a promotion or even the opportunity to get a job. It is in the way someone tries to figure out your ethnic background or age through a biased review of your resume. It is being eliminated from consideration because you went to a state school. It is being removed from consideration in the first 45 seconds of an interview based upon the vague dislike of a search team member. It is being called too liberal or too conservative or just not a right fit.

You may find discrimination in the offices of companies big and small, in the halls of colleges and universities, in board rooms, in classrooms, in lunchrooms and even in access to bathrooms. Discrimination can be because you are a person of color, have a visible disability, are female, male or transgender, because you are gay, rich, poor, did not go to Harvard, wear too many earrings, because you are not a person of color and because of age. The list can go on much beyond this but I have to stop someplace.

I have seen bias raise its ugly head in the process of hiring for an open position. Sometimes the bias is against anyone from outside the organization, or from within. Often the bias is against a woman moving into a “man’s role” or vice versa. Just think about the rules surrounding male teachers these days due to fear of sexual abuse, despite all of the recent evidence suggesting that female educators can also be prone to crossing the line with their students.

One recent saga from the world of job interviewing involves the obvious calculating of someone’s age in an interview by asking how long they had been at all of the prior listed positions. The candidate had been highly successful up to this final interview. What changed? The clear answer based on the jotting of numbers by the interviewer was age. This candidate was clearly now known to be over 50 and was out of the running despite internal hiring protests. A clearly younger hiring manager was uncomfortable with having an older employee no matter the qualifications and experience. The age barrier also works in reverse. I have seen clients balk at working with a career counsel younger than themselves based upon a perception that the counselor will not be able to understand their issues despite years of training and a degree in the field. Younger workers are also often hired due to being able to work longer hours and be paid less…or that is the assumption.

This brings me to parenthood. We mothers know the signs subtle and not so subtle. I was once told that I would be much farther along in my career if I had just not taken that time off (to raise my children was left unsaid but we both knew the name of the elephant in the room). I also know that being a mother has created a mommy track of sorts; my husband also finds himself in a sort of daddy track because he actually wants to coach soccer and softball teams and does not want to be away from home 50% of his life. It is clear that the old system of rewarding punishing lifestyle choices is out of whack with the new ways we wish to work.

I have seen search teams that have been all white or all women of color when it seems clear to me that in this day and age this should never happen. I have reviewed top management of companies and have seen mainly white guys with a few women and a select number of people of color. It seems the standard of hiring who you know creates a system for recreating insular communities of the past, all of one color, race, gender, socio-economic class, and political leanings and so on. If we do not force ourselves to be aware of this happening then we will be condemning our children to trying to “fix” it down the road. Isn’t it time we moved beyond tolerance to inclusion?

It is vital that we bring about the changes and open the conversations on our own. Whenever government or group think gets involved we end up with rules that no one finds quite as liberating as they sounded initially. Have you ever listened to a speech on eliminating discrimination that left you more confused than when you began? We all have. You walk out of a room with a list of don’ts but few ideas on how to create a new and vibrant, inclusive community. I suggest that in our best moments, we know exactly what this would look like but are too afraid to make a suggestion for fear of being ridiculed or labeled. We must ask the tough questions, make the suggestions, and have the courageous conversations.

Truth be told, we are hurting one another daily by denying access to the basics of a wonderful life. When you impact someone’s ability to work, you impact their sense of worth, their families, and their communities. You also deny yourself the opportunity to discover a new and exciting talent with maybe just the right skills, just what you really need. I challenge you to move beyond your comfort zone and take the “risk” on hiring someone for a role that is outside the accepted “norm” in your community. Think freely, act boldly, hire the old guy, the wise Latina, the lawyer without the Harvard pedigree, the lesbian firefighter, and change the world one person at a time.

You know discrimination when you feel it…on either side of the table; as the perpetrator or the recipient. It is alive and well and it seems not only the good ole boy network is doing it now. Equal opportunity to deny access is not success or change.